Talking to Marzia I see such a special person. Hearing her talk about her daughter it is as fluid as water and I cannot imagine that kind of relationship with somoene, that her daughter is her own person but is also a part of Marzxia, made of the same sinew but with different perception. Asnd I wonder about Marzia and how she supports herself, I know that she has a high level of self-understanding and checking in with herself, but she is going to need to set in somesystematic frameworks so that she can support things now dealing with living with diabetes.so much extras information is coming her way and being and existing and living with in the future in terms of health, diabetes effects everything. Food is life and bnlood sugar needs to be checked so often. I remember evenm having to inject our cat for her diabetes and finiding it traumatising and so I cann;t imagine the experience of either injecting your daughter at leats 5 times a day or watching her do it.the very act of putting a needle in the skin and opressing in. the body which seems so solid because it is sealed up with skin then being made to fee less solid, less permeable.

I am happy that we are writing together now and I hope it is an outlet for her to write,more than an outlet I hope if creates a space in her mind. Last week when we took the tube homeish together she said about having an empty room in her mind and knowing she can go there whenever,I hope this cleans out the dust in there, and it's bigger and more elastic and oxygen rich and bigger then the other parts of her mind. I hopefor only the best for Marzia.Even before beginning this exercise she started trying to support me by saying all of this love and listening I give out will come back to me many times over in very special people being there to support me.It was funny tolisten to because I feelalready that I have so many of those special people in my life,Jess,James, Jade and George, as wellas my family like John and my Yiayia.I wonder about the difference between 'havign' special people and the experience of being with them as a paractice,as something that continues. Sometimes I find it hard to want to see people,retreating back, finding it hard ot shcedule,too much time and too little.i find it childish in mysewlf reallythis experience of not quite settling with time. Time and time and time and where and when and how?How is time? Funny how you can live forever in seconds and hours can pass as if nothing. That's mostly what goes on with the internet. Watching internet endlessly, I'mlucky to not have a phone right now it's come at an opportune time, I need to order a new sim card though so I can call, jade need some support, but part of me feelsdistant still from her. She is solovely and very close to my heart, I'm just finding it hard to thinkk about when to see her and when to have myown time.i like my own company this must be a gift for mylife but also I wonder I wonder and wonder that I enjoy wondering on my own much more. It must be the winter.being in a hot place makes peopling feelso much easier to me.